Episode 344

TODAY’S READING:

I sought the Lord, and he answered me and delivered me from all my fears.

Psalm 34:4

 

In the third grade, I got bit by something that left a huge welt on my skin. I mean, this was gigantic. Compared to my small body and vague memory, I could promise you that the bite was the size of my fist.

 

My parents took me to the doctor to check it out, and they told me it was most likely a spider bite.

 

Today, I freeze when I see a spider. I am just terrified. Maybe it’s because I have a mark on my body to remind me of the time I was petrified to think one bit me without even noticing. Could there be one on me now?

 

About five years ago, I was driving home late at night, and I had my roommate on the phone on Bluetooth. Out from the shadows came a spider crawling on my dashboard. I have screamed for my life. Tears were rolling down my face.

 

To this day, my body sends shocks of adrenaline when I see one.

 

I tell you this story to paint a picture of what fear can do to us. More than fear, what trauma can do.

 

I received a text last night from my dad, and it made me quite sad. If you’re new to the show, I mentioned a month or so ago that my dad has a narcotic addiction. It’s been a rollercoaster of a decade. I have tried so hard to help him, but this last relapse has left me pretty defeated. Every so often, I call him to see if he wants help, and his answer is always the same “don’t worry about me.”

 

How could I not? What if one day the police knock on my door? My fears keep me from living in the joy of the present. I always have him in the back of my mind. He left a mark on my heart. Like the mark on my skin from the spider bite, I am always on edge, waiting for the spider to appear from the darkness, waiting for bad news about my father.

 

But it’s on days like today that I can fall on my knees and praise my wonderful father in heaven. I can cast him my worries, and like this verse says, he will deliver me from all of my fears.

 

I don’t know if you are battling sickness, infertility, career change, a season of singleness that seems never to end. Whatever fear you have. Whatever timeline you have set. Whatever future you are trying so hard to prevent, it’s not up to you. I know we all have a mark somewhere that reminds us of the past, but let’s look at the mark with a fresh new perspective. It’s not a scar; it’s a choice to surrender every day. 

 

PRAYER

Father God, take it. Take the fears we hold onto. Heal the wounds. Mend the scars. Lord, we surrender our fears, our worries, and our timelines to you. God, we pray for a beautiful day, a healthy day, a day full of purpose. Give us this our daily bread. We love you with everything, always, and forever. It is in your son’s Holy name that we pray, AMEN!